Anarcho-Tyranny For The U.S.A.
It's coming sometime and maybe.
A man wakes up in San Francisco, has breakfast, showers, and gets ready for work. As he opens his front door he discovers a fresh deuce on the stoop of his seven-million-dollar row home. In a previous time, he would have noticed it earlier in the morning when he went to fetch the San Francisco Chronicle and The New York Times or Wall Street Journal newspapers.
Today he stumbles past the yellow greasy and red foul-smelling excrement (a sign of poor diet or intestinal bleeding) on his way to see if his Range Rover is still where he left it the previous night. He notices the depositor of the morning gift two stoops down curled up in an unwashed mess, his pants around his ankles and his buttcheeks smeared with evidence of his offering. Completely out in heroin dreamland, the perp’s right hand limply grasps a clear and orange syringe with black etched lettering along the side that reads: Courtesy of the law-abiding tax-paying citizens of San Francisco.
Last year this man paid $59,000 to the state of California for the privilege of this morning’s experience, and another $122,000 to the federal government which is in the process of funding thousands more armed IRS enforcers to make sure this man or any other working citizen doesn’t get any funny ideas about keeping one dollar more than they’re allowed from the fruits of their own labor, by a government that offers them nothing in return and openly detests them.
When this man arrives at his Range Rover Evoque which he upgraded to heavily tinted windows thinking it would deter thieves, yet does the exact opposite, he finds the passenger front window broken again. It’s the third time in as many weeks. As he approaches the windshield he notices an envelope beneath the windshield wipers. This man, on this morning, has been cited for parking slightly in a hydrant zone. His tires and front bumper were just across the line of legal allowance, so he must pay the city $350 for his urban infraction. A penny less or refusal to pay will eventually result in a bench warrant for his arrest.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Good Citizen to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.